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Tyrion lannister quotes funny movie#
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“As a clever man once told me, “We make peace with our enemies, not our friends.”ĭoes it count if he’s stealing lines from Littlefinger?.“It’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.”.Not that Canadians can recognize various whistling sounds, just that they remember a lot. That’s right, Canadians have memories like dolphins. Remember kids, if you have good cheekbones, you can get away with anything. When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine.”ĭoes that mean Tyrion doesn’t believe in ‘finders keepers?’ Sometimes possession is an abstract concept. Everyone would do it if it were easy.”īut if it’s better, isn’t it easier? Hmm… “It’s not easy being drunk all the time.We can sum this up with “Know your enemy.” And you need to see things the way they do if you’re going to anticipate their actions, respond effectively, and beat them.” “You need to take your enemy’s side if you’re going to see things the way they do.From now on, rulers will not be born, they will be chosen, on this spot, by the lords and ladies of Westeros to serve the realm.”Ĭan you believe Tyrion Lannister invented democracy!? That is the wheel our queen wanted to break. Sons of kings can be cruel and stupid as you well know. Sansa: “Bran has no interest in ruling, and he can’t father children.”.

Tyrion lannister quotes funny full#

Ever tried writing an essay with a belly full of wine? You may find the writing process is better, but you’ll also find the result is most certainly not better.

“Everything’s better with some wine in the belly.”ĭepends on your definition of better.

To be fair, a rich anything is always a better alternative.

“If you’re going to be a cripple, it’s better to be a rich cripple.”.

“I remember reading an old sailor’s proverb, ‘Piss on wildfire and your cock burns off.'”.

Tyrion fails to mention that these great conversations follow and/or precede a big cinematic battle.

“A wise man once said the true history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms.”.

Thank you for the very bleak advice, Tyrion.

“We still have to take King’s Landing.

Helpful tip #2: Always use the name ‘Lannister’ and you’ll never be rejected from anything. We’ll be staying at the finest castles and inns. Next time someone introduces themselves as Desmond Crakehall, vacate the area!

“Anyone named Desmond Crakehall must be a pervert.”.

“You can’t fuck your way out of everything.”.

Tyrion: “In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock.”

Shaggar: “How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?”.

“It’s been a long road, but we’re both still here.”Įxcept Jon probably has a few less Air Miles than Tyrion.

“It’s even better luck to suck a dwarf’s cock.”.

It’s not using people, it’s just convenient friendships.

“I try to know as many people as I can.

Helpful tip #1: When committing murder, do not use your own blade.

“What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?”.Or die.”īasically, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. “Our people haven’t been friends in the past.

Tyrion lannister quotes funny movie#

The possibility of a Black Widow movie is what keeps me going. Whereas life, ah, life is full of possibilities.”

Tyrion lannister quotes funny free#

If your friends ever have a stupid idea, feel free to punch them in the face but metaphorically, not literally.

“Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face.”.

“Schemes and plots are the same thing.”.

You should definitely feel ashamed for being a jerk. You are what you are, never let anyone make you feel ashamed of it! Unless you’re the kind of bastard who’s a jerk, not the illegitimate child kind. You don’t have to be a bastard for this one. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”

“Let me give you some advice, bastard.